Not one of them doubted anyone else in the boat. Believing in one another was not really an issue anymore. What was more difficult was being sure about one’s self. The caustic chemicals of fear continued to surge in their brains and in their guts.
The Boys in the Boat ~ Daniel James Brown
Self doubt can be one of the biggest saboteurs in our life, causing us to miss out on what could be one of the greatest moments. We dream of moving forward, of making an impact, of doing something that scares us, and then in a flash of crippling self doubt, we back out.
Can we look for a moment at the stories that we tell ourselves? Where do they come from anyway? How long have they been there and why do they leave us feeling as though we don’t have a choice?
The stories that we tell ourselves are really just a compilation of many, many moments in our lives. It can start with something that is your very first memory and like a snowball rolling down the hill and growing in size, each time a profound moment occurs, we compile a little more data about who our brain says we are.
For example, if I had the lead in the Christmas concert in grade 1 and forgot my lines and the audience laughed, depending on many factors (my upbringing, my sense of humor, my genetics, what my parents taught me about my worth, etc) I will determine what that defining moment says about me. The thing is, this determination is different for everyone! The story that I may tell myself about that moment could be that I’m not good enough to perform because I wasn’t perfect, whereas someone else (with a different set of genetics, upbringing, parents, etc) may tell themselves that they are entertainers who make people laugh.
Brene Brown talks about 3 of the most dangerous stories that we tell ourselves. All of these categories dip deep below the surface of who we are. They are very vulnerable places that speak to our worth and our abilities as human beings. It really is no wonder that these parts of us can be so easily wounded and create a damaging story that we tell ourselves today.
- Our Lovability -just because someone or something isn’t able to love us, does not mean that we are unlovable.
- Our Divinity -our faith narratives must be protected, and we must remember that no person is ordained to judge our divinity or to write the story of our spiritual worthiness.
- Our Creativity -just because someone failed to see the value in what we can create or achieve doesn’t change its worth or ours.
What if the next time that caustic chemical of fear begins to surge and whispers to you that you are not good enough, you don’t have value or that you don’t belong, you take a deep breath and be curious about that response. That fear is just rising up to protect you from feeling any painful or shameful feelings from the past. Remember that no matter what, you are lovable, divine, and creative. You were born with those traits and the world needs you to have courage and reveal that beautiful part of you.
We are the authors of our lives. We write our own daring endings. We craft love from heartbreak, compassion from shame, grace from disappointment, courage from failure. Showing up is our power. Story is our way home. Truth is our song. We are the brave and brokenhearted. We are rising strong.
Brene Brown
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