You know how they say that a good stylist is cheaper than a good therapist? It’s because when we are sitting in that chair for two hours, something is bound to come blurting out and our hairdressers are often the listening ear to those comments!
As a personal trainer I experience the same thing with my clients, only its coming out in wheezes between their sets. I cherish this part of being a trainer and as a former therapist, I like to think that from time to time I have a few things to add to the conversation.
Which brings me to a pivotal moment that I had with one of my clients last week.
I posted a challenge for the month of April in which participants were encouraged to hike our local mountain and aim for their fastest time, or their most improved time over the course of the month. Part of the idea in starting this challenge was to connect my current clients and their friends in order to build some camaraderie to move daily. With that in mind I decided to do a pre-hike and invite all of the participants.
The client whom I referred to earlier was excited to participate in the pre-hike and responded that she would definitely be there. I was delighted. Over the last 10 months this client had lost over 30 pounds and with that weight loss she also began to shed some of the inhibitions that had kept her from living her life to the fullest. She was making new friends, going out on the weekend and buying new clothes that revealed her months of dedicated hard work. Keep in mind that all of this transformation had happened in private. I came to HER house. She trained alone in her basement or with her husband. She didn’t g to a gym and so hadn’t been around many fitness oriented women at that point. She also knew that there would be around 25 people at the hike that morning. But, her body had changed significantly and her fitness level had improved drastically so you can imagine my surprise when I received a text from her 40 minutes before the event was about to begin that read like this:
“I’ve decided overnight that Knox Mountain is more of a solitary challenge for me. As much as I’d love to participate in a group thing with some of your other clients, I think I have to keep Knox to myself. I hope that doesn’t sound too weird. Thanks again for coming up with the challenge. It makes me push myself way harder that I normally would on that Apex Ass-Kicker (the name of the trail ;).”
To which I simply replied:
“Think about this question and answer it honestly: What are you afraid of?”
1 minute later I received this response:
“Already answered -I’m up and getting ready!!!!!”
And I responded:
“That’s my girl.”
As I sent that last text, it made me cry because I knew exactly what she was afraid of! She was afraid of not being good enough. Not being the same, being last, not getting picked, being embarrassed. She had changed exponentially, that much she knew. But she hadn’t stepped out of her comfort zone enough times to truly believe that she could do it. I knew she could do it. I knew that she wouldn’t be the last and in fact I knew that with her abilities she would probably pass 80% of the people hiking that day. She just needed to believe it and so when I asked her, “What are you afraid of?”, she already knew the answer and she knew that if she didn’t face that fear right then and there, that she would always be afraid.
When I asked her permission to write this blog post, she filled me in on the conflict that was raging inside her that morning:
“The old me and the new me were having a battle about getting up before everyone else in the house vs staying in the nice warm bed. The old me won, not because I wanted to stay in bed (although that was an added perk) but because I thought I would be embarrassed on the hill. I knew how much I would want to talk to other ladies but I also knew that if I was going for a best time, I wouldn’t be able to talk – like, literally, no talking! I thought of all kinds of excuses but decided to be what I thought was pretty honest so I sent that text. Then I laid there and I thought, what the heck are you doing? You made a commitment, this is who you are now – you get up early on a beautiful Saturday morning with other like-minded people and you get it done. It felt amazing to fully realize that really is who I am now. Who cares if I was red-faced and sweaty and could only talk on the way down!?! The best part was being at the front of the pack. How strange for me! Of course I know ladies are doing it in 19 minutes and Denise came along with her long legs to chat while a grunted at her but I see their accomplishments as new goals for me now and I’m up for the challenge!”
Awesome.
Self-efficacy, or the belief in oneself, is one of the most consistent predictors of exercise adherence. Do you believe in you? If you don’t know where to start and you think that the hill ultimately seems too hard to climb, I want you to just start by believing that you can make a change. Look at the other areas of your life where you have had to change something that was difficult. Recognize that you do have the skills to change, now you just have to believe that you can.
For help on how to face your fears head on, read here: https://www.movedaily.ca/the-best-way-to-get-your-ski-legs-back-is-to-go-down-the-hill/
