It was 6am.
The dog was whining in his kennel, desperate to get outside to relieve his tiny chihuahua bladder, that he, for some reason, fills to capacity every single night before bed. Let me just say, he’s addicted to drinking out of the bathtub. Quentin would say that I established this very annoying habit for the dog because the first few times I applauded him and found it very cute! It was adorable…what can I say? Of course, he can get in, but not out. So that is always fun multiple times a day when he cries at us to come and rescue him.
Anyway, I took him out the front and sat on the steps as he made his way across the easement road and onto the grassy median in front of our house. Once my sleepy eyes cleared I saw that there were 3 deer on the median as well. I stood up with a little start and in a yelling whisper, summoned Max to come back to our lawn.
Of course, he didn’t listen.
The biggest deer slowly turned and started to make her way over to see what this little thing on the grass was all about. She was going slow and cautious, so I sat back down and just watched to see what my dog would do.
Mistake.
The deer bent down to sniff Max and then at lightning speed before I could do or say anything, the deer picked up her hoof and whacked the dog on the top of the head!
I screamed. It was 6:02am.
The deer scattered and Max shamefully trotted back toward the house. Quentin jolted out of his slumber and came running out of the house in his underwear (not that uncommon of a occurance for this man). I’m freaking out, running toward the dog to assess the damage, yelling that he had just been whacked on top of the head by a deer.
As soon as we got to the top of the stairs, Max wiggled to be put down and went and sat on the kitchen mat to receive his morning treat. All’s well that ends well…I guess.
We are going along our merry way, and then life comes along and b*tch slaps you right on top of the head. And you can’t breathe, you feel paralyzed, you feel afraid.
I was walking the other night and saw a deer. It reminded me of this incident and then it made me think that sometimes life hands you the same blow.
The job you had for 15 years has suddenly announced that they’re downsizing and your job is a first to get cut. The relationship that you promised to be in forever has dealt you a cruel blow, one that you would not have chosen. Your mother is diagnosed with cancer and you think you have years left together and suddenly you get a phone call that she has passed.
We are going along our merry way, and then life comes along and b*tch slaps you right on top of the head. And you can’t breathe, you feel paralyzed, you feel afraid.
Those 3 scenarios I just wrote about, have all recently happened to friends of mine. So I have had the privilege of observing and walking beside these friends during these moments. I want to share with you what I have noticed about how they are getting through some of life’s most difficult times:
- They allow themselves to feel. They deeply feel the sadness of their loss. They haven’t tried to rush the healing, and the moment that they feel like they need to cry, they do.
- They are kind to themselves. They aren’t rushing through the grieving process. They know that the next day will come and it might feel better, and it might feel worse, but they are staying in the pocket with their emotions and honoring where they’re at.
- They receive comfort from others. This is the job of the friend who isn’t in that difficult space at the moment. We must ask questions, we must be okay in the midst of another’s painful experiences, we must not be afraid to draw close and be vulnerable, even though it can be uncomfortable.
- They care for themselves. They walk, hike, workout, meet for coffee, go to gravesites, have a hot bath, read a self-help book, or sign up for workshops, because they know that they will feel better if they move.
Yep, sometimes life hands us a devastating blow. It whacks us hard on the top of the head.When and if it happens, may I be as gracious with myself and the grieving process as my 3 friends have been in theirs. And then one day, when you don’t even realize it, you’ll sitting on your kitchen mat, enjoying life’s treats again.
If you need motivation and encouragement to stay moving in the midst of all that life hands you, please contact us. We’d love to help.
