How do you handle the toxic people in your life? What do you do with the liars, gossipers and control freaks?
I think a large measure of how you deal with toxic people has to do with your own personality and what you are willing to put up with! But no matter how you slice it, toxic people in your life rarely enhance your own space to grow and increase your wellness, so it’s best you do something about it.
Entrepeneur.com lists a couple of strategies to apply when a toxic person comes your way:
- Set Limits (Especially with complainers) -To avoid getting sucked in to a negative emotional spiral, set a limit on how much you will listen. Interjecting a question like, “How do you intend to fix the problem?” can derail the complaining and set them on a path toward a solution.
- Stay Aware of Your Emotions -If you are ever having an intense reaction in the middle of a conversation with a toxic person, that is an indicator that something is going on with you as well. Try to be curious about that in the moment and take note of what the person said or did to trigger that response in you.
- Establish Boundaries – If you have been around a toxic person for sometime, you will see patterns in their behaviour and you can probably predict their actions. Knowing what is about to come can help you to think more rationally about it. Establishing a boundary should be done consciously and proactively. I know this is easier said than done. If you have a personality that doesn’t want to upset the apple cart, this may be a very difficult thing to do. Remember that boundaries that protect your wellness are a good thing. Start with setting a small boundary to show yourself that it’s ok.
Examine what and who you tolerate. Be curious about it. If it doesn’t make you feel good, try to challenge it.
I’ll close with this thought by Maya Angelou:
“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.”
