A survey was sent out to a group of Millennials asking them what they believed to be the most important life goals. 50% of them said fame and 80% said being rich. While fame and wealth do seem like the ultimate end to a life well lived, a 75-year-old study has shown that a truly happy and fulfilled life is obtained much differently.
In 1938 The Harvard School of Adult Development began a study on what makes people truly happy. Being toted as one of the longest studies in history, The Happiness Project began with studying the lives of 724 men, of which 60 are still alive today.
The men were asked about their work life and home life. The study had constant access to their medical records, blood tests, brain scans and even videos of them interacting with their spouses and children.
Since 1938, some of the men have climbed to the very top of the social ladder while others fell to the very bottom.
Over the years of having acquired thousands and thousands of sheets of data, the study concluded that it was not wealth, fame or working harder that made the men more happy.
What made the men happier and healthier was GOOD RELATIONSHIPS.
Here are 3 important lessons from the study:
- Social connections are really good for us and loneliness kills. People who are connected to family, friends and community are happier and healthier.
- It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters. High conflict relationships are hazardous to our health. The men who were most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.
- Good relationships protect our brains. Being in a secured, attached relationship in our 80’s is protective to our brains, including our memory.
Indeed, the men who fared the best in life were the ones who leaned into connected relationships.
Our relational life affects our overall wellness so deeply. I have had seasons of painful and disconnected relationships and I see how it affects my health, my drive, and my job. Leaning into relationships and holding on to healthy connection can be scary and often requires us to face some dark demons in ourselves. But the result of doing so? A good life with good relationships.
Below is the full Ted Talk. Take 12 minutes and be inspired to grow those relationships.
